Written in 1895, Rudyard Kipling’s iconic poem “If—” remains one of the most practical masterclasses on emotional intelligence, leadership, and personal resilience ever written.
Among its famous conditional statements, two specific principles have served as my personal compass throughout my life:
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you…
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch…”
The Real Classroom: Chaos, Bars, and 5-Star Hospitality
Long before I stood in university lecture halls or advised corporate executives, my education in human behavior began on the floor. To fund my university studies, I worked relentless hours as a waiter, a pizzaiolo, and a bartender.
Later, I had the privilege of working in exclusive 5-star luxury hotels. That environment proved to be an extraordinary laboratory for two fundamental skills:
- Keeping Your Head in the Storm: Whether it was a chaotic rush hour in a packed pizzeria or an unexpected crisis in a luxury dining room, I learned that panic is contagious—but so is composure. When everyone around you loses their temper or clarity, staying calm is not just a virtue; it is an operational necessity.
- Navigating Social Extremes: In those gilded halls, I served true gentlemen of quiet dignity and grace, as well as “miserable wealthy” individuals who possessed fortunes but lacked basic human respect.
Authenticity and Emotional Stability
Serving across these opposite worlds taught me a priceless lesson: status is an illusion, but emotional posture is everything.
Kipling’s verses are not abstract poetic ideals—they describe a daily practice of internal alignment:
- Emotional Composure: Absorbing pressure without reacting, keeping your focus clear when others panic or point fingers.
- Walking with Kings: Interacting with leaders or high-net-worth individuals with natural confidence, without feeling inferior or deferential.
- Keeping the Common Touch: Treating every person—from a kitchen dishwasher to a global CEO—with the exact same dignity, presence, and respect.
The Measure of Self-Governance
In my executive coaching today, I often remind leaders that true authority isn’t measured by a title or a bank account, nor is it tested during calm waters.
It is defined by how you hold your axis when the room is burning around you—and whether you remain genuinely yourself, everywhere you go.